hello, im going through something similar. I Feel Depressed Since My Partner Broke Up With Me Going through a breakup can be challenging, and you may feel many intense emotions when your partner leaves you. It crushed me because I love him still and wanted to make things work. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a month ago. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. Those are real friends/romantic partners. As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. He adores his granddaughter. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. He proceeded to hang out with his friends and cancelled on my twice in a weekend even the make-up plans he made. Youre probably not doing much/anything wrong, but staying in his life forces him to focus on you rather than himself. In his own words: He thinks things through and makes deliberate, purposeful decisions. Your depressed boyfriend broke up with you? We're both 17. Week into my breakup now. These emotions are likely a natural part of losing touch with someone who mattered to you. Because I still so badly want to be concidered his girlfriend etc. Its not your fault I promise its me. So we broke up. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. Everything was going well in our relationship, occasional fights here & there but nothing truly significant. I can relate so much to this. Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? We hung out last week, and not much progress has been made. Lets reverse roles for a minute. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. This doesnt mean that hes depressed and that the only way for him to be happy is to break up with you. Ankylosing Spondylitis: Weve Got Your Back, Whats Next? They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. I want him to be happy and to heal. They dont like talking about them because thats how theyve developed themselves. Im going through the something similar me and my ex girlfriend are both 19 she broke up with me because of depression and that she was emotionally drained she didnt realize she was depressed till about a few . If hes the kind of guy who blames himself, he could also feel extremely guilty. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Hope you are keeping well! No matter what he does, he cant be of much help. I love him too much to watch him move on with someone else, that want him to be happy but I cant watch it. He broke up with me. In the beginning we struggled as he had deeper feelings for me. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alonehow Do I Show Him That We Can Be Together? If He Loves You, He Will Come Back No Matter What! When he broke up with me he was so cold and distant, as if he were a completely different person. I know that depressed people tend to push others away but I feel awful for leaving him in such a state. It really makes me mad because this probably only made it worse, she probably feel like she cant be helped at all and lose hope in any help, and it probably played on her mental health again since then. Im so confused and hurt and dont know what to do. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. I know he really cares about me. He told me he didnt treat me the way I should be treated and I dont deserve that because Im an amazing person. Along with that, the article will also suggest ways people might cope with a breakup.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'psychreel_com-box-3','ezslot_24',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-box-3-0'); There can be many reasons why a person with depression might wish to end their relationship. A breakup caused by depression can be difficult to foresee and interpret. I don't know what to do. He did speak with a counsellor and the counsellor suggested he get out of any relationships he is sabotaging. I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. My heart is broken. He just knew he couldnt bear it. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. For that, the article will explain what depression is, how it impacts the persons life and relationship. Contrary to happy, mature couples, selfish boyfriends tend to do whats best for them. To express my support and I got a message to not go to his house. Shes going through a really really hard time and that affected how she felt about a lot of things in her life. Boyfriend agreed I should walk away. The thing about depressed guys though is that they dont have much if any energy left to work on themselves. Your boyfriend might be pushing you away for fear of disappointing you or making you unhappy. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. More often than not, the stronger person eventually loses respect for the depressed person and thinks of him or her as a burden. Much love to anyone who is going through the same situation, well all walk through this together :). We spent everyday focusing on our studies, our work, while building our love, our relashionship, looking forward to that future together where we would finally be able to be together. Im at a loss. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. So focus on your pain rather than his. And he believes him. In a study, full and half siblings at high risk for major depression, were compared with individuals raised in their home environment, those reared in adoptive homes (homes selected in Sweden for their high-quality rearing environment) had a significantly reduced risk for major depression. The most important thing you need to understand about breakups caused by depression is that they dont happen overnight. It doesnt feel like it was time. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. Its one of those things that can affect dumpers in bad and good ways. We met randomly through a mobile game app, it was totally unexpected and never would have we thought that we could fall in love with someone that way and so far from each other. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. This can happen if they dealt with what was going in with them, and still have feelings for you. We've been going out over 5 years and hasn't seemed himself the past few months and then we were together and he suddenly broke down and told me he has developed anxiety and could be depressed and thinks we need to break up so can can be by himself too. If your boyfriend pretended to be depressed, you need to know that he used a very common Its not you, its me excuse. He fooled you into pitying him and leaving him alone so he could do whatever he wanted to do. Because they have problems, they often look for negatives in others and by doing so, ruin their own relationships. He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. I feel abandoned let down but to hear him sobbing and telling me I deserved so much better than him, that he couldnt give me what I wanted even though all I ever asked for was his time broke my heart. Motivating him during times of distress and helping him follow a disciplined lifestyle may reduce his depressive symptoms. 2) Is there any chance hell be back? And as long as you are open to it, learn and grow with the challenges. I wish I can give you a hug because we all need it. Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone. I know that he suffered with depression when he was a teenager, and with the stress of his new job he started to withdraw from activities and pastimes he once loved. Surely, they wouldnt want someone to do the same to them when theyre struggling. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. Im not sure why the counselor suggested that, but your ex needs to focus on improving his mental health now. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. He would say he is stressed, not able to sleep. Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. . Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. Sorry for the long message! As an understanding partner, you should keep your calm and try to get into the root of the problem through communication. This will let you know how aware they are of their condition, and how committed they are to getting better. I learned a lot of depressed men dont because they dont ever really learn how to open up about their feelings. We had planned our future together, about getting an apartment and maybe having kids. As a result I continued to stay isolated from most people and could be a weight on his shoulder. Through it, the person will relearn how to live without their partner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_8',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); This process has its ups and downs, but while going through it is important to have your friends and loved ones close to you. There are many types of depression, but we wont talk about all of them today. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. Heres how you can tell if your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth. So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions. That was the only way he could stop investing time and energy in you and feeling pressured into doing things he didnt want to do. One of the most critical factors a person experiences in depression is lack of self-worth and excessive worry. We talk or text everyday, but then his calls and text were getting father apart. Time does help just a bit too slow. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. Which didnt get better. Don't take it personally when he pushes you away or avoids your calls/texts 3. And it is a grieving process. Does he miss me? Before you even think about being in a relationship with your ex or anyone else for that matter, you should heal your trauma. You must understand that a depressed boyfriend will break up with you when he thinks that the breakup will help him feel better. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. But he isnt doing that. Do I just still treat him like a dumper?! But if hes avoiding people, blaming himself, and missing out on sleep, then hes likely dealing with the real deal and needs a lot of understanding. Did your boyfriend break up with you because of depression and youre wondering why he did that? Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. This is pretty typical behavior for depressed men who aren't getting adequately treated and by that I mean, aren't in therapy as well as taking medication. Everything started to go downhill starting January 2021. .Set boundaries. And if you want to discuss your breakup with us in private and want a faster, more detailed response, check out our coaching options. I feel heartbroken despite understanding why he is pulling away. She already was a bit depressed before this, as she has a really difficult background and childhood. It makes you feel powerless with nothing helpful to say and do. And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not happy with himself and that he feels like he's changed. Things will make much more sense when you regain emotional independence. It was like he was pulling away from me. Besides getting professional help, as a partner and more than that as a friend, you should be supportive and kind to him. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. A person with mental illness that is emotionally stable and is in treatment can be as great a partner as any other person. Depression is a mental illness that can cause a person to experience intense sadness, along with that, they might lose hope in life and the future, along with a decreased sense of self-worth and low self-esteem. I thought he might be depressed so I brought him flowers & food almost everyday although he didnt want to talk to me; hed barely looked at me in the face. My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday and I cant stop crying. He has been depressed for a long time (pretty much our entire relationship which was 2.5yrs) and told me that after I had been gone travel nursing (1 solid month apart) he just spiraled so deep that he didnt even know if he loved me anymore (he said he just didnt feel anything about anything). Be kind to yourself. Im thankful for your time. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. Coming here and reading this article and all these comments, somehow makes me feel better. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. She was getting more and more in depression ever since she moved, and i really tried my best to be there for her, to show her that i care and love her, and that shes not alone and that ill always be there for her, as usual and as i always did since we met. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. he says how he wants to be best friends and then later date but Im so scared we wont get to do either of those. I was sad for him and sad for us. Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. How is it going for you now? She said she needs time and space to work on herself and she hopes that in time when she feels better, that well try and get back together, when shell have a clear fresh mind. Thing's just recently started going downhill, causing him to quit his job and to be admitted to the hospital.
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